A Story of Redemption

"I wanted to be HAPPY and WHOLE, even though I was terrified of what it would cost."

Childhood trauma was the norm for Ben Huggins. He and his five siblings grew up in a strict religious home. Behind closed doors, however, his father was emotionally and physically abusive. This led Ben to develop an unhealthy set of survival skills, a strong will to protect his younger siblings, and a distorted view of truth and reality. 

He joined the Marines at 19 and served for 6 years while still carrying the weight of trauma.  Ben turned to drugs to ease the pain. After his military service, he met Heather, fell in love and she became pregnant. Now Ben was faced with his unhealthy lifestyle and the childhood dysfunction that was eating him from the inside out. His fear took over and the distorted view of truth told him to keep his past hidden. But with his relationship with Heather about to implode, and the baby girl now in their lives, something had to change. By the grace of God Ben and Heather showed up for counseling at SouthBrook. 

Blame, excuses, avoidance and hypocrisy became the hard working language in each session of counseling. While blaming his father had been a convenient excuse, he didn’t like the man he had become. Ben started to see the hypocrisy between his words and his life and it disgusted him. He hated hurting the ones he loved because of a past he couldn’t reconcile. He realized the only person who could make it right was himself, and it was time to surrender to Jesus the ugly truth of who he was. 

He started sharing portions of the painful truth with Heather, it was one of the first times in his life he had been vulnerable and open with her. She proved to be generous and gracious. Healing began.

Ben decided to confront his father.  He planned the confrontation in several counseling sessions. He hadn’t spoken to his father in over 3 years. Then  just like that, he was on an overnight road trip to Virginia to face his past.  

Agreeing to meet, Ben spent 2 hours reliving painful memories with his father and sharing his hatred for him. When he was done, the weeping began, unlike Ben had ever experienced before. 

Grace flowed, Ben’s father asked for forgiveness and apologized for the pain he caused, asking Ben what he could do to make it right. Ben’s response shocked them both. Ben asked for a father to hug a son. That one tearful meeting led to another the next day where Ben knew the happiness and peace he sought was on the other side of the forgiveness he could offer his father. What was this forgiveness going to cost?

Buoyed by his determination to have happiness at any cost, he listened as his father confessed sexual abuse he had endured as a child. This time compassion flowed and a miracle occurred that day for both men. Ben decided to offer up the forgiveness his dad needed. And in the process found freedom for himself. 

Processing this miracle on the long drive home, Ben felt his need for forgiveness from his heavenly Father, understanding his sin in a new way. He repented and experienced God’s forgiveness. He also realized he’d need to confess and ask Heather’s forgiveness. 

This time grace overflowed. Heather’s heart was soft and healing began. God began a good work and the Word of God came alive in a new way for Ben. Scripture was changing his life. It ushered in a humility and compassion with others Ben had never experienced before. 

Over time, his spiritual journey took flight. And then it happened. He remembers the moment. He felt genuinely happy for the first time in his life. He had forgiven his father, received forgiveness from Heather and now he had forgiven himself. He was whole. Happiness was finally his to claim.  

Note: If you or someone you love is in need of counseling, contact SouthBrook’s counseling department at counseling@SouthBrook.org. Or if you have a story of forgiveness you would like to share, contact Mendy at Mendy.fedotowsky@southbrook.org.